READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
