Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
