Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
