my shit smells like andre
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
