i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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