Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?

  (213): View more from California

  Ya ya. Where you eating?

  (818): View more from California

  Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.

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  (818): Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out? (213): Ya ya. Where you eating? (818): Cereal and beer. U kno u want in. http://tfl.nu/3o1u
  Replies (4) Good night (1229) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

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  (631): sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood http://tfl.nu/dhuu
  Replies (113) Good night (1024) Bad night (6218)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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  (401): We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night. http://tfl.nu/piwb
  Replies (12) Good night (8115) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.

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  (269): Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos. http://tfl.nu/5wn3
  Replies (13) Good night (6137) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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  (613): There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order. http://tfl.nu/vb6g
  Replies (23) Good night (5005) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina

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  (856): i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina http://tfl.nu/7m3b
  Replies (22) Good night (860) Bad night (5104)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.

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  (731): I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one. http://tfl.nu/nuy4
  Replies (9) Good night (2436) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.

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  (858): the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus. http://tfl.nu/isnl
  Replies (5) Good night (3409) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston

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  (781): I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston http://tfl.nu/zjjv
  Replies (7) Good night (1101) Bad night (1847)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.

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  (479): What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5. http://tfl.nu/zz72
  Replies (7) Good night (1206) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.

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  (920): Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder. http://tfl.nu/33o4
  Replies (0) Good night (796) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?

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  (509): So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh? http://tfl.nu/gcnr
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him

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  (419): I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him http://tfl.nu/czew
  Replies (5) Good night (1490) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.

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  (917): Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society. http://tfl.nu/2sl2
  Replies (2) Good night (400) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (447): View more from

  She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.

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  (447): She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases. http://tfl.nu/jvs6
  Replies (5) Good night (208) Bad night (469)

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