Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

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  (540): I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune. http://tfl.nu/4goo
  Replies (9) Good night (1350) Bad night (2886)
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  (415): View more from California

  worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

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  (415): worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser. http://tfl.nu/daye
  Replies (13) Good night (713) Bad night (4673)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.

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  (229): so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing. http://tfl.nu/p809
  Replies (26) Good night (2784) Bad night (1076)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face

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  (503): I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face http://tfl.nu/4e48
  Replies (38) Good night (4512) Bad night (1520)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.

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  (604): I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you. http://tfl.nu/twb2
  Replies (20) Good night (1844) Bad night (6950)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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  (+44): Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far" http://tfl.nu/vzxo
  Replies (7) Good night (4513) Bad night (1069)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?

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  (480): ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen? http://tfl.nu/sppe
  Replies (17) Good night (3578) Bad night (1599)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?

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  (623): Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub? http://tfl.nu/jp28
  Replies (5) Good night (2268) Bad night (894)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning

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  (908): I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning http://tfl.nu/qz06
  Replies (5) Good night (3435) Bad night (953)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.

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  (910): Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood. http://tfl.nu/yy48
  Replies (4) Good night (732) Bad night (1666)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.

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  (202): In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American. http://tfl.nu/gnds
  Replies (14) Good night (3497) Bad night (707)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others

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  (574): Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others http://tfl.nu/5o0g
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (747)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat

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  (716): I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat http://tfl.nu/8oko
  Replies (2) Good night (1136) Bad night (373)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??

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  (336): I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better?? http://tfl.nu/p0ng
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (232)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?

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  (701): I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/w4ss
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (290)

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