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• (904): View more from Florida

  Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20

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• (239): View more from Florida

  He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.

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