I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts