Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.

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  (480): just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers. http://tfl.nu/c1gi
  Replies (4) Good night (2409) Bad night (586)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

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  (281): 3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals. http://tfl.nu/21ij
  Replies (12) Good night (2760) Bad night (476)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee

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  (404): I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee http://tfl.nu/kgs2
  Replies (28) Good night (2661) Bad night (753)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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  (417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif
  Replies (32) Good night (4096) Bad night (605)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

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  (410): Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem. http://tfl.nu/4xkw
  Replies (34) Good night (814) Bad night (7172)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

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  (773): i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is... http://tfl.nu/4q16
  Replies (4) Good night (2436) Bad night (1089)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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  (703): Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge. http://tfl.nu/w6ag
  Replies (5) Good night (2017) Bad night (659)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I was always good at matching as a child.

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  (614): she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her. (614): I was always good at matching as a child. http://tfl.nu/vx3e
  Replies (6) Good night (3659) Bad night (594)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.

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  (503): It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now. http://tfl.nu/4bjw
  Replies (7) Good night (696) Bad night (1276)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.

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  (704): The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here. http://tfl.nu/9670
  Replies (2) Good night (1437) Bad night (472)
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  (714): View more from California

  Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.

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  (714): Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee. http://tfl.nu/zv29
  Replies (16) Good night (2762) Bad night (1041)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way

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  (563): it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way http://tfl.nu/kc5u
  Replies (8) Good night (456) Bad night (984)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.

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  (206): The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter. http://tfl.nu/rlxt
  Replies (5) Good night (889) Bad night (301)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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  (306): Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right http://tfl.nu/4x80
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (386)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)

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  (630): Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet) http://tfl.nu/zpz1
  Replies (1) Good night (228) Bad night (521)

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