The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.