bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize