dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
