let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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