He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
