I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize