Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
