so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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