she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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