I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
