you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Sober January is a disaster.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
