i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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