How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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