..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
