The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
