So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
