Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
