Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
