Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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