i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
