Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He has the fingertips of a God
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