Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
