Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
