We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
