You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize