Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
