Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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