Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have fence marks all over my body
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
