My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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