Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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