remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
