no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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