i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
