it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
