Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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