I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
