What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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