I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
