the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
