You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have tasted many bathrooms
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
