only if we run a train.
done.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
