I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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