i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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