I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
