you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize