Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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