I think my vagina is haunted
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think my moral compass just broke
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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