No, drunk sperm still make babies.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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