I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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