I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
