The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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