I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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