I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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