i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
